June, 09 2008
A great quote: Every moment looking back keeps us from going forward! That's what Senator Clinton said in her speech on Saturday. How many of us can live that message? I believe Senator Clinton does and will continue to do so and I hope all of my friends and family will also.
I have a friend, who moved to Jacksonville more than 30 years ago, who still talks about her last city as if she left it yesterday. Or the divorce that happened 25 years ago...she/he can still tell you what evil lurks in the mind of the other.
If we do, we can expect that life will reward us for our commitment to the present. Living in the now is a gift that keeps giving.
I hope you are enjoying this very minute.
June, 04 2008
Russell Simmons wrote a marvelous book called "Do You." I'm just not sure that it goes far enough. Being You is the most important path you will ever follow. I didn't say it was easy because by the times we are adults, we seem to have listened to so many people that we don't even know what it is like to be ourselves. We can find it. What do you like to wear? What do you like to eat? What do you like to do? What makes your heart sing? Who do you like to spend time with? When do you want to go to bed? When do you want to wake up? The greatest artists have created masterpieces following their own inspiration. Beethoven wrote music that made his heart sing -- he might be pleased that I love it -- maybe not. Many of my clients want me to tell them what they should do. Many seek outside counsel, read books, listen to tapes, or spend eons of time searching for "how" to do something. We search and search and search.
Don't get me wrong...I think reading, listening, and talking are terrific but only if they add to your wisdom and knowledge and enhance you. Being you doesn't mean being stupid but I often see is smart, effective people spend huge amounts of time trying to find the so-called right way when they might take their collective knowledge and do something even better than it has been done before. What has become a substitute in your life for being you? Each time we discover our own essence, it's meeting a powerful truth. Be you -- I promise you that you will have your own hallelujah moment.
May, 24 2008
The other day, our yoga teacher read a passage on "patience" for us to contemplate during class. I thought about patience from that point forward -- during class and after --because I will readily admit to being impatient. In fact, while I consider impatience a weakness, I also think of it as a strength because I'm proud of the fact that I'm eager to accomplish my objectives. I have often stayed up very late, put in extra time and sweated a myriad of details because I was invested in a project that I wanted to be the best it could be. I rarely ever have let "things" take care of themselves. Right there in class I was having a very strong AHA! moment. I saw that the impetus for my impatience was not just my commitment to seek excellence, it was also because I lack trust. I have this necessity to do, do, do and I'm admitting now that the weakness is far broader than I thought. We cannot do it all. Others can help us only if we trust them. Situations come together to make our finished product better than we could have imagined when we trust that we have done our part and surrender and WAIT.
I still believe that you give everything you have to whatever you are doing. I now understand that the process includes elements beyond what one individual is able to accomplish. It may mean trusting in co-workers, family members, the system or more. It may even mean we don't know what's happening for a while -- as John Naisbitt once wrote in describing that period between the parentheses. We know what has happened before the first parenthesis and we "kinda" have an idea what will be the conclusion but what will occur in between? That takes maturity and maturity takes patience and patience takes trust.
I feel like I've had an important lesson.
May, 13 2008
I always wondered about the word, breakthrough...clients have reported that they have had a breakthrough and I've tried to understand what they were breaking through and the closest image that I could conjure was something that looked like slogging through muck into sunshine. And then recently I had such a breakthrough and I now have a new and better understanding. What happened to me though is that I thought I was moving forward but the reality was that I was merely letting go (once again) of some resistance and then I had a freedom and expansion that I hadn't had just moments before. An image of resistance could be having a noose of our own making around our throats choking us. Resistance is like having cement shoes. Resistance is like having a horse pulling us in the opposite direction from where we want to go. And the irony is...we make our own resistance. It is entirely fabricated by its owner. Letting it go may not be easy --it's just the only way. What feels like we are making a huge stride is merely dropping the weight that is holding us down. I know, I know, I know...if we only knew how. Well, here are some tips. Remind yourself that it is your resistance. Shrug your shoulders when you feel resistance (and you always feel it somewhere in your body) and tell yourself that it is just resistance and invite it to leave. You really don't have to spend hours identifying what caused the resistance or planning a strategy for alleviating it. That could make it worse. Honest! Be gentle with yourself. Look toward the goal or objective that you want. Then distract yourself. (Sometimes it takes a lot to divert attention and it often needs to go on for a while.) Eventually the resistance will dissolve. It always does. (That is why you have experienced so many "breakthroughs.") Once that particular resistance leaves you, you are free to take those nice big steps toward being all you can be. It sounds easy. Well, that's because it really is!