January, 03 2008
I have heard a few and said a few recently -- GUILTY as charged. Yesterday was a strange day of confusion and all day I heard people say that it was because the holiday was on a Tuesday and we couldn't find our bearings. Also, I heard how cold it was and how we "ALL" felt like hibernating (no bears were present!) Then someone told me that she had an "itchy" throat -- lots of colds and flu going around. Know what I'm getting at? Each of us seems to have an endless supply of excuses. I used to tell my children when they gave me an excuse that they were only arguing for their weaknesses. That's as good a line as any. Look...sometimes we are confused...sometimes we do feel like staying home and reading a book in front of the fire...sometimes we have aches and pains. It is just better to keep the information to ourselves and do what we feel will be best for us. We don't need excuses. We don't need to build a posse of excuse supporters. Come on...sometimes on cold days, we have energy we didn't know we had. Sometimes when a holiday falls on a Tuesday and we go to work from Wednesday to Friday, we are like a house on fire we move so quickly. And sometimes when we have a scratchy throat, a good cup of tea soothes it away instantly. We don't need to accept these premises. They do not serve us. Let's inspect what we hear and decide what truths work for us not those that work against us. We can take a day off for absolutely no reason at all (and, by the way, that's a really good idea.) We can end confusion in a bunch of ways. We can make good decisions for us. We don't need to enroll others to our position. Being busy does not mean being strong. Being strong means understanding where the power comes from in your life and always honoring it. It's very precious!
December, 20 2007
Folks get mixed up
I've noticed lately that some of my clients and friends seem to be confused about an important topic. They spend a lot of time thinking of themselves but not caring for themselves. A huge difference exists between the two of those situations. People can seem thoughtless, selfish, and inconsiderate, who are always focused on their own issues -- these could be work, family, or personal issues. People who take care of themselves make sure that they are handling their needs and wants and then they are usually in a better position to respond to the needs and wants of others. Can you see the distinction? It's an important one. I will admit that I have often been out of balance on this particular subject. When my children were young, I would think I was sacrificing for their benefit but now I know I wasn't if I would then complain about it to friends or colleagues -- anyone who might listen. It's an attitude. I remember that I had a neighbor, who was gorgeous. She was also up early, had her children's breakfasts and lunches made, kept a beautiful house and garden, made fantastic dinners and was dressed and beautifully made-up all the time. I thought of her as the model homemaker and she had part-time work. This woman took time for herself every day. She didn't gossip with the rest of us, who might be complaining about one thing or another, but she was a friend, who came for coffee and was the first to respond to my needs when I became ill for a time. She took care of herself and she took care of others and she rarely talked about herself and certainly never whined. She really had the process of self-care down. I admired it then and I admire it now. We have lost our way on understanding how this all works and the world would definitely be a better place if we had clarity on this subject.
December, 12 2007
Love, love, love it!
Please read on. This really isn't about me though it seems to be indulgent at the beginning...
I love walking on the beach on a warm day. I love hearing the roar of the ocean. I love seeing a dark blue sky. I love connecting with an old friend and I love that we spent time inspiring each other to be our best selves. I love the feeling of someone holding my hand to let me know they appreciate a word or thought or just my being there. I love smelling a chicken roasting in the oven. I love the expectation of how good it will taste. I love my yoga class. I love hearing Josh Groban sing Christmas Carols. I love decorating the house and adding the special touch that makes it all mine. I love making a new recipe and having it turn out perfectly. I love, love, love.
That is the start of my list. Will you join me in making your own list of what you love, love, love. It's such fun. Just having jotted those few things makes me feel like I'm blessed beyond words.
While I've periodically kept a gratitude journal, I often took it a bit too seriously. We can sometimes be carried away with what seems like a good idea and then it can become a chore.
I'm encouraging you to play. I'm encouraging you to take a second here and be lighthearted. See your gifts as if you were a child again. Whether it's your work, your business, your relationship, your family, expand the fun around you and it can begin with I love statements. Oh, I forgot...I love to smile -- you, too?
November, 29 2007
While I think of myself as an astute businesswoman, my best advice for succeeding in business has little to do with a business factor -- it has to do with being happy. Yep, it's the secret for moving ahead in many ways and certainly it's true for business. (As a little aside, I watched the finals this week of "Dancing with the Stars" and I have rarely seen a happier competitor than Helio. I wasn't surprised when he won -- he enlisted us all in his happiness and I take it people voted for him in droves even though he was a relative unknown when he started.)
I uncovered a new book on the subject of happiness this week. It's called “Happier” and was written by Tal Ben Sharby. He even tells you how to be happy: combine meaning with pleasure!
When did we become such a serious society? Why do we put pleasure on the back burner? How did we learn to be guilty about enjoyment? Where do we find meaning in what we do? We don't need answers to those questions, we only need to re-focus. Make a switch! Find the importance in an endeavor -- absolutely. Find the joy, too. Spread it around.
I have made reminders to myself by using the phrase, "To be happy, combine meaning with pleasure", as my screen saver and I've decorated my newest journal with the saying too. It sets the priority. It paves the way. It's the best advice I've seen in a really long while.