March, 20 2006
If you couldn't answer yes to that question than...WHY NOT? Having fun is way more important than most people think. You may not always be able to set the world on fire and icky stuff does happen, of course. But you can always ask the question, "How can I have more fun right now? I really recommend that you remember to make that inquiry of yourself now and then. Why? Because it helps you tap into your power. I have noticed that most people think that they are more powerless than they really are. And when you ask yourself that silly question -- andrequire an answer.you tap into some of your creativity -- you recognize that you have more control than you thought you had. Sometimes, having fun might mean just changing where you are sitting or what you are doing for a moment. It could also mean connecting with someone you might have lost touch with. It could mean exercise. It could be listening to some upbeat music. It could be learning something. It could mean making a plan to go out and do something exciting or it could be a quiet activity that especially pleases your heart. Figuring out a way to have more fun in any given moment can set off a chain reaction that creates solutions to problems, optimism where fear existed, direction and focus. I love the energy that is released when I ask that question and seek ways to satisfy myself in the moment. Try it -- come play with me.
March, 13 2006
I was going to start this post off by asking, "Are you stuck?" So often when I talk to business clients as well as those I coach personally, I find that they are somehow stuck -- in a way of life, in a situation, in a relationship, in thinking. My job is to help them maneuver OUT of the place that keeps them from doing what they want to do or being what they want to be. But this time, I must admit that it's about me. And, it isn't flattering either. This morning when I was writing in my "morning pages" (please read Julie Cameron's book, "The Artists Way," to read about this helpful tool...or e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org for more on that) I discovered how STUCK I AM...I learned that my own rut was disabling even though I wasn't unhappy or even unproductive in this state of "no-movement." I am just holding on to thoughts and beliefs and situations that don't serve me any longer. Therefore, some things I want to achieve aren't happening and I am wondering why... duh! (Now here's an important caveat to what I'm writing -- I think that most of us analyze ourselves too much -- paralysis by analysis -- and yet that's what I'm doing here -- I bring this up for the purpose of revealing what I hope will be a useful exercise.) So as I observed my "stuck-ness" I thought -- Wouldn't it be helpful to have an inspection system that shows patterns that are no longer working for us? It's like operating on two levels -- continually observing the means as well as results that we post on an ongoing basis. It's the "constant vigilance" Freud discussed. By being fully aware of our course AND our destination at the same time, we can act/perform/work at full throttle. We can...yes, you and I can...reach new heights, new levels of excellence. We can challenge our status quo even while we accept ourselves and our situations. We can explore dimensions that may not have occurred to us. We can dream bigger than we have ever dreamed. We...you and I...can do more than we have ever done and we can do it even more easily than we have ever imagined. We can do it together because we can support ourselves during the process. We can do it because we're ALIVE and we have decided to really live our lives! We can become unstuck. From me to you...here's a kick in the pants -- it feels SO good to move forward!
March, 07 2006
A Punch in the Gut
A HARD punch in the gut! The scroll at the bottom of the screen said, "Dana Reeve has died." And I felt that I had been hit really hard in the stomach. I didn't know Dana Reeve. I don't know her teenage son. I didn't know Christopher Reeve. And yet I deeply feel this loss. From what I know of Dana Reeve is that she was a woman devoted to her family. She invested enormous time and energy and was effective in finding funding and bringing awareness to the research and treatment of spinal cord injuries (and later cancer.) She was talented. She had lost her husband and mother within months of each other and then found out she had cancer. She had a son to take care of as well as the Foundation of her late husband to run. I want to celebrate her life. Yes, I can send money to the Foundation and I will. I send thoughts to her son. I remind myself how precious life is. I make a pledge (again) to live a good life. I commit to being true to myself and always doing the best I can in any circumstance. Whatever is said in circumstances or on subjects like this sounds like a platitude. But so what...Life is a gift. Each day is precious. We all have much to give. Do something for yourself today and do something for someone else today. And honor the memory of a really good person by taking some action.
March, 01 2006
When things go wrong, it's not necessarily "their" fault
When things go wrong, we tend to want to blame the other person. It's human nature -- why would we want to bring harm to ourselves so it must be someone else's fault. Seems logical and this is certainly how we have been conditioned for eons. The problem is that it serves no purpose to engage in the blame game and/or to assume that the bad thing is the fault of some evil-doer. This is a complex issue. I just want us to learn how to pick up at the end of the string and move forward. It is so NOT easy to do that. If we hang out with what went wrong, we don't need to do the hard work of making life right. And that's what's required. Hashing over the mistake, accident, or problem is not constructive or productive. And what we want, in order to achieve maximum growth and maturity is to move forward and "let go" of the "bad" situation. I think that I have always hated it most when someone has said to me -- Beth, you just need to let it go...whatever the "it" is. And I have always wondered...HOW does one let go of something. So here is a mini-lesson in what I have learned about letting go...It means as the mind starts to go back to "it", you consciously move to another thought. You look at the judgements that you are making around the situation, analyze them and recognize that judgements never produce results. Then do something totally different than you were doing -- maybe it's taking a walk or a run or maybe it's some form of meditation or maybe it's a hot bath or listening to robust music. Let it be your best form of distraction. It is being mindful -- watching what you are thinking about and declaring what could be a more productive subject. Now I know that it is impossible to just ignore "it." That's like being in the room with an elephant and denying that it is there. But we can be masters of our own minds more than we believe that we are, and we can acknowledge a thought that has come in and then we can be active in thinking of something new and different. A one-minute explanation just cannot handle an issue as big as this but I wanted to talk about this blame game and expose it for the paralyzing gremlin that it is. Our futures depend on us looking within more than we look at the "out" and to do so without deciding all of the time what's good...what's bad...what's o.k....our job is to -- oops, here it is....let it go!